Oh Em Gee!!!

I was out watering my garden this morning and I found one of these in my zucchini.

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

It was THIS BIG

And it attacked me!! Then it tried to bite my neck - a vampire spider! But I fought it off! 

Okay not really.

It was about this big

But still - gluugghhhh. I was completely squicked out (squeamish and icked out).
So now I have to go buy spider-proof chain mail to work in.
As if it's not already hot enough outside.